Melania Trump’s Rose Garden Makeover Destroyed By Protester
Washington DC – An unnamed and armed to the teeth protester rampaged through the newly renovated Rose Garden early this morning. No one knows what prompted this act of violence. The suspect is a muscular white male in his early 30s. Wearing a plaid shirt and jeans, he was heard yelling “We sleep, they live.“
Within a few minutes of starting his act of vandalism, he left. Law enforcement is currently searching for him.
The suspect acted with surgical precision. He quickly destroyed the radio telescope with improvised explosives. The explosion rocked the neighborhood and shattered windows in the White House. What remains a mystery is how the suspect was able to gain entrance without detection. Police believe he had an accomplice. No one knows who gave the terrorist assistance.
Experts note the staff’s will have been crushed for quite some time. That leaves only family members. Many note the only one capable of orchestrating a complex stunt such as this is President Trump’s youngest child, Barron. Considering his recent erratic behavior, Barron is being investigated.
Meanwhile, Republicans are explaining the sudden change in the appearance of their leadership.